extra dark coffee

It was a messy room and broom was nowhere near yet they had nothing to fear their meet WAS  after a long time and each and every second shined like a newly polished coin; like a freshly washed loin- cloth, they’d been talking for the past hour and their voice flowered and then it happened the look that siphoned a deep emotions inside their eyes they told truth: not lies and then they inched close not a second to lose their eyes closed breathing floored is this love? They asked they basked in each other’s embrace and then it happened, their first kiss breathing fastened, hand fastened tight around each other their feelings united their embarrassment fighting a battle with this sensation this new-found revelation sadness disappeared blushes appeared and then one look into each other’s eyes Oh! What a pretty sight they thought and they smiled wide, just a fraud with the time… #promise -yakaa: jujaa

It all began with small talks it all began with a small box of gift that he gave to her not to impress but just for the sake of friendship he never had any beef with anybody but he was willing to take one up for her; steeling his nerves but he  never used any rough words to anybody for her sake and to be honest they never went on any dates but they began dating she brought his latent romantic side and they just vived yet it ended as suddenly as it began he scanned the mountains and seas for the reason what made her commit the treason yet he found none and he host his new-found home and dived into despair cause his pair had left him to the rest of the world he seemed stable but he was not he gobbled up his snot and wiped his tears and set out again; despite his fears and soon he found someone yet the memories of the one gone still haunts him till this date and he leaves everything to fate these days… #promise (she has been in my memory recently. I ...

As I pass by the crowds, I wonder who am I to them? I know it’s a lame question to ask but I do bask in the eyesight of some be it for a few numb- ing moments do I dent their question and I ask again do they have the same questions like “who is he?” Or do they just let it be “what’s his story?” “Is he feeling the same thing as me?” “What are his problems?” “Does he like plums?” I often wonder and plunder do they see those questions and do they feel my depression or do they see my happy moments as I fence with those same questions as I receive random suggestions. one question pops into my mind though what question goes through the minds of random people who see me??? -yakaa: jujaa #dotts

The world’s lost its color since the moment I lost her her as not in person but “her” I’m referring is long gone and now I’m lost like a symbiote without its host lost in this maze of black and gray I wish the world would go back to the time when I could crack lame jokes and spit out lame hoax of a lie. I wanna lie back into my bed with that enough said I wish to see the colors again I want to be insanely- sane and see this world in color… -yakaa: jujaa

It almost got me the thing I can’t see I want it to leave or just be pleased but here the thing is I don’t wanna please that thing; the silhouette that thing that dotes on me and I’m running away being strong, not sway- ing despite strong winds and as far as I hint for it to go away and stay there I do care for it cause that silhouette is nothing but my own self; pleased with just chasing me and as far as I can see it will get me one day that’s for sure; I can say -yakaa: jujaa

The war rages on but the angel’s gotta stay strong even after getting a beat down from each and every wrong turn they took and from the demons that includes a one hell of a behemoth of a monster too, the source of their strength; a boon of a soup that heals them time and again but one angel stains some o f that  soup with his blood and after drinking that some of them fall and become tainted and some of them feinted to fall just to destroy them all- those fallen angels that dangles so this three way war rages on; good, evil and mediocre ones, home has become a battle ground one trying to lift, one hanging on and one trying to bring us down and it will rage on till our life is gone -yakaa: jujaa

I see things clearly now like a monk doing a bow- down to a fallen angel All because his anger was too much to handle I can see the creatures of the dark coming forth, oh! Hark don’t come any closer, you’ll kill the light the one that’s shining with what little might it has left, all of it has been theft stolen and seized by the silhouette those who can’t see, hear or say anything like a doll being moved by the breeze- those silhouette play hide and seek among the trees of life that fuels the light one which is being taken away in my sight and it repeats and repeats, it just eats away at me and then i come full circle again… -yakaa: jujaa

You are strong despite taking wrong turns and when you’ve done and done all those horrible deeds that you spoke of you still follow your own creed and you may throw a bluff or two at me but I can clearly see your strength; where needs to be just know that I’ll be there showering you with care if you ever need me I’ll come like a bee flying towards a flower and I’ll shower you, look at the distance from a tower to the far away harbor to see if there is any danger and if I do see it, I’ll be a power- ranger and fight for you but I hope that you do fight for yourself hope that you won’t need my help but if all else fails come to me and I’ll pick up the pieces and turn them into a mosaic #batman (well she is strong but she needs to be reminded that she is strong from time to time and well I love this idiot.) -yakaa: jujaa

I want it back that cat like feeling that it gave me when it said “he can achieve his goal if he learns how to roll his thoughts into a single point no fissures-no joint” although I do admit it makes me sad not bad but I feel glad to the  feeling I had when that voice rummed in my ear the voice that cared about me I need it back! Oh so desperately to be able to focus # simu (the voice is gone all of a sudden) -yakaa: jujaa

I was lost like a parasite without a host like an aimless ghost like a useless dust and then a fluke happened like a beggar had just found a large fund but that fluke of luck left me with a huge lump I had to say “oh fuck!” yea I actually went t the dump and had to vomit twice when the dice of fate got stuck on two oh! My love was true and yet I couldn’t keep her so I was a goner from the start; I had barked up the wrong tree but she left me that is on mutual agreement but that sour luck that made a mock happiness actually turned out to be good for me, I went south to a desert and found an oasis that drowned me and built me up I once wished that I could stop and rewind time but not anymore and even though I have a sore and broken heart at least it’s not torn apart she was a fluke of a true love but she made me a dove that learned how to protect what mattered to me and keep it safe for my own sake but she did left me with a scar; the one which ha...

In a dark night I wanna be a dark knight and fight for somebody who hides from everybody who only sees the violence released and the peace seized who searches for those lost keys of peace the one that decreases with the passing of time “look at the moon it’ll disappear soon but look at it illuminating the night sky, accumulating the light from the sun and giving it all has in return this I wanna say and be that dark knight that gives a slight ray of hope just like the moon… -yakaa: jujaa

I may not write about much but you are embedded in my mind in such a way that you haunt and taunt me even till now I wonder how would I have grown if I hadn’t made that right turn that is you… no! I wouldn’t greet you or call you a mistake anymore so I might sound like a hypocrite but you were a good turn that made me burn with fire even though you were a liar but you made me grow and sow positive seeds so I heed- -ed your words and I have become a better person, I might come off as a mad man passing and moving loosely like a sand slipping through the hand and going back to land but you made me better than before and still I think about you in my sore mind you are one great find and although we were never meant to be I see what I’ve become one hell of a perfect storm… #promise (it’s been six months since we parted our ways and it’s been a rough ride for me. it woulda been rougher if I hadn’t met #batman but let’s stick to the topic. We meet every once...

She wills me on like a bright sun shining, even though she’s but all gone her battle’s over, she won! and although it was a short one she’s finally where she belongs but I’m still here thinking of her while I stare at her image oh! So clear in my memories I cherish the time well spent and right now I have no one to vent on to, I cried till my tears dried but no! I’ll never see her again but just her words makes me wanna do broad decisions, her one wish is her small hiss is the thing that pushes me to be better than I was yesterday and as much as I say, she was the one who got away and on the ocean she lays gone with her ashes #simu(well I already wrote a bunch about her on my previous poem [april] so m just gonna keep it short. I’m haunted by her memories nowadays.  Her memory’s been haunting me for past couple of weeks. Her voice…her face…her smile…her smell. It’s all fresh in my mind and it’s been pushing me further to do my best in whatever I’m curre...

“maybe we’ll be more than friends someday” Or so she said And then she just left With a beautifull gift Her memories The one that sprang up a tree Of hope But it’s hard to cope With her loss But i did; like a boss It’s been quite some time Since i began to rhyme But now i’m rhyming in her memory Forever written in the sands of dee She is missed And her memory kissed Everyday and i dust and guard them Everyday cuz life just ain’t the same Without her Those incomplete sketches that she made Those suggestions well said Where will i find someone like her??? She is after all gone Gone in the month of april With a lie so sweet “let’s meet again soon shall we???” But it’s been Years and years And tears Swell up as i read our old chats The fact That she’s dead doesn’t help I can still hear her yelp When she made a mistake In her sketch “you are missed my dear” That i wanna say Before i go to bed Everynight #simu(it’s been 3 years since i last saw her...3 ...

a thought creeps all the happiness sweeps away as I lay below the dim light of the lamp my sight has become damp from the tears that I’ve been holding, I swear to become strong tomorrow and row the boat of life I’ll strive to become better I’ll take the shelter from sadness, from the madness within but I promise to live on I won’t die even if my demon spawns and grows bit by bit I won’t do shit- ty things that brings my demons to rise and I will fight till my last ounce of energy so Mr. Grim reaper Not Today (when the voices begin to rise…) -yakaa: jujaa

of course I get happy even when she cracks crappy jokes, when she brings out her smile I smile even though we are miles apart, well not literally but those bitterly feelings makes me feel like we really are how I wish I had a bike or a car so that I could drive anytime to see your smile and I make fun of myself trying to look like an idiot in need of help yelping like a dog whose been hog- tied to a pole and even if I am sore In my mind your kind smile saves me from myself #batman(her smile… makes me wanna smile myself and I do even though most of it is fake…she makes me wanna be strong…stronger than I am right now. One of the most influential person in my life) -yakaa: jujaa

too many words in my head so I try to put it here instead of speaking them out those words are all about me myself and her the one who stirs up my feelings and keeps them under control the on whose role is very important the one who is a god sent gift to me the who resides within my memories the one who sees everything that I do and she controls m sometimes too this one’s for her; my friend the one who bends her own rule and this much is true that I love her and I am thankful too #criss_walker (well I love her. She I the one who calms me down most of the time besides #batman) -yakaa: jujaa

“What was it? that made me say Oh shit! whom did I kiss? that tore me to bits what was that event? what sent me to the depths of despair a despair that I can’t share what made me stare? ; a loss of someone I care? just what was it? that made me need my medicine kit?” at the roof-top in the middle of the night with no soul in sight smokes a man with no delight cramped feelings, torn emotions but he expresses them through motions of his wrist and by banging his fist but what was the trigger? that made him this a monster among man… #obscure_halo (it literally took me 30 mins to type this shit and it’s taking even more to upload it here. Some event that I can’t recall today made me… well her explode. I’m barely maintaining control over my own body and I’m wondering what was that trigger? Was it the psychiatrist visit???or the meet with #promise??? Or the talk with #batman??? Or something else???. Blurry vision, beeping ears and shaking hand with an upset stomach. ...

it hasn't been long but my emotions are strong and they have been seldom wrong and rarely have taken a wrong turn so I'm sure I'm right to continue this fight I'm sore that my worry for her is correct, despite having a blurry vision I'm sure that she ain't using to lure other guys out of her life, she too is  tying to thrive in what little sun she has and i know both she and me will run outa gas soon but till then  I'd rather be insane with her; my best friend till my life ends #batman (each an every line of this poem.) #iku_iku (the part where i wanna be insane till the end and my emotions not taking a wrong turn)

a day's end a god sent gift to me cause I can finally be me, i can dance to the beat of my heart one that's been hurt and hurled a million times, till i've curled in a ball while i try to stall back my emotions keep control and let it roll cause it's finally night no light in sight as the darkness covers up the sky i hang on for my dear life just a few more moments of light and then the fight winn end and another battle will begin a heavy feeling on my chest while i try my best to control my suppressed emotions and i've guessed a million way to speak and say or maybe not speak or just eat my emotions the ones that weigh a hundred tons -yakaa: jujaa