Skip to main content

exhausting happiness

it was my plan to meet up
but yea i had to stop
and think twice before
i made that decision for
to be happy i need to put aside
my stoic front and besides
smiling and laughing is tiresome for me
people don't normally see
that stoicism is easy to accept
so i smile and laugh except
when i'm on my own
normally at my home
cause i need time to recharge
after any and every large
group meeting
it may just be sitting
and talking but i need it
of course i can be happy
but i just don't perfer
it
i'll always be afraid cause
time has told me again and again
so i'm afraid to see the same
results coming back
bu then i have panic attacks
after every long period of happiness
so i'd rather choose the stoic kiss....
(well it was my birthday today so i'd arranged for a group union. i was happy for most of the time but it was exhausting and i had a panic attack in between. after that attack i just pretended to be happy. -_- . anyway this poem is for the introverts and those suffering from panic attacks. hope you enjoy it.)
-yakaa: jujaa:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

special

never felt like this it's like waiting for a kiss and that hiss from someone trying to diss out to you, damn it made me angry i just couldn't see what he said to me about you, that we were not meant to be but you know that as well as i do that we love each other too so boo-hoo to all those haters, go shoo i don't need any of you to do what i need to do that is to show my love and go somewhere where we can call home even if its just an ice dome i'ma comb it with our love so all i need is you to have a perfect view of this world you are all above my world -yakaa: jujaa #topda(requested by this idiot) #promise(inspired by this idiot 😑😑😑)
3 comments
Read more

bad day

he's shaking now everybody's wondering how well how about him wanting to shout that he is stressed the darkness has carassed his forehead and given him the dark kiss he's vomited twice and has a loose shit and he's being torn apart bit by bit his anxiety's more than just waist deep his WiFi's dead so no distractions and his stomach's been upturned by constant contractions yet he fights yet he writes till he sees tomorrow's light keeping a little bit of hope in sight but he can't contact his love and he is worried cause he has to shove more pills into his throat no more load he says yet sleep's not on its way it's been one of the worst days and on the floor he lays under the dark sky believing his own lies knowing that he is weak but still believing that he is growing stronger with each passing breakdowns -yakss: jujaa (i actually wrote this poem about a week earlier but as i already said, no WiFi to upload. it w
5 comments
Read more

three way war

The war rages on but the angel’s gotta stay strong even after getting a beat down from each and every wrong turn they took and from the demons that includes a one hell of a behemoth of a monster too, the source of their strength; a boon of a soup that heals them time and again but one angel stains some o f that  soup with his blood and after drinking that some of them fall and become tainted and some of them feinted to fall just to destroy them all- those fallen angels that dangles so this three way war rages on; good, evil and mediocre ones, home has become a battle ground one trying to lift, one hanging on and one trying to bring us down and it will rage on till our life is gone -yakaa: jujaa
Post a Comment
Read more