fucked up

no one to open up my heart
so I'm like a child lost in a super mart
with nowhere to go and no one to open up to
people say "go and screw
yourself up. you ain't the only one with problems
you ain't the only one with difficult sums
shoved up your ass"
i do know that
everyone has their own shits to deal with
some of whom is greater than what fits
in their head but i'm just a human being
just content with seeing
everyone i love happy
but i need someone to tell how crappy
i feel when people ignore me
i'm just steeling my feelings
day's have gone by like this
feeling like shit
feeling that i'm not enough
so I'm here cough
-ing my insides by smoking too much
just cause i don't wanna make any fuss
with anyone i just wanna express my feelings
after all i'm just a human being
so here i'm writing out what i feel
but that deal
i made with the devil is paying up
still i wanna stop
feeling like no one
man i wanna feel someone to someone
but all i feel is stuck
like a whore being left in half fuck
unable to move on or go back
so i pull out my stash
of some nicotine
and smoke till i pass out...
-yakaa: jujaan
(so yea... i've been feeling so fucked up for the past few weeks that i smoke till pass out every fucking night. of course there is #batman but still i feel like there is no one to talk about what really bothers me. screw speaking about what i feel... i've been feeling so fucked up that i can't even write about that and that is a huge things cause i usually write what i can't speak and those suffocating feelings are killing me inside)

- a blog exclusive
#eklo_yatri