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somewhere...

caged
enraged
a staged
performance with a damaged head
somewhere fed up with my own existence
i am lost hence
i don't know where i came from
hell i don't even have a place to call a home
to begin with
all i feel is like shit
like a bug squashed by my own feet
my fleet
of the army of happiness disappearing slowly
i saw it long ago, flowing
down along with my tears
but i have not smeared
every bit if tears all across till not a drop remained
anger restrained
by those voices that haunt me
a person only i can see
that exists somewhere in my own head
yea i feel like i am that person
the one who has no home
lost somewhere...
stuck somewhere...
in a limbo between reality and illusion...
#the_25th_hour
-yakaa; jujaan
(i've lost my home...
not the physical one but a mental one. i don't find my peace of mind anywhere... not even with those who were my home a few weeks past. a heavy heart is all i have... an angry mind is all i have. )

a blog exclusive
-eklo yatri



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memor....hallucination

that cute little butt of hers those beautifull brunette curls that flows across her face yeah the same one with button nose and her smile the one that goes all the way to her heart it was nothing but a lie oh why did i had to lie??? why did i had to break that promise i made her yeah i cried but tears stopped right before they reached my eyes i had a reason for ending it and she knew it every bit so well: even more than me that she could tell what i had to say hello miss cuddles! well you ain't there thats just my hallucination please don't stare at me i can't bare to see you go, where are you now??? nowhere but in my brain -yakaa: jujaa #felicity (i wrote this one some two years back. back then i was called eklo yatri. meanings the same it's just a matter of language. dedicated to felicity. she meant the world to me. n even though we have drifted apart i still hallucinate her voice)

other side

i wish i knew what ails you but right now i don't know what to do i know that you love me too bvut here's a dilema i don;t know what ails you how i wish that you'd be problem free like an old tree that has no problems that just hums to the wind but as i write my confidence dwindles oh how i wish that i could solve everything that ails you, you have a strong resolve to face everything above but as we remain contactless i wish that i could kiss you and come to the other side and give you a part of my life despite the fact that we are connected and despite the fact that i believe everything you've said i'm worried my image's blurred thats why i saay that i love you wish that you'd come back to me soon that you're the grestest boon anyone's ever given me #promise -yakaa: jujaa: (fb deactivation days)

who?

the moon was bright but my sight got blurred  damn that cursed side of me i said but it said "it's just fate" wait! I've never heard that voice  before, it replied "I'm not your choice" i thought "so it's not Criss or Roy?" it replied "I'm new, you boy! but wait, where am I? all i see is a girl in sight who's holding your hand tight giving you a will to fight I'm new here dude" "so you don't know how to be rude? like Roy or be cool lie Criss?" it replied "i was born in a pool  of memories you fool so stop drooling. i'm born so just accept me and share what you choose to see with me and I'll heal you" (as i was looking at the moon, it talked to me...") -yakaa: jujaa: