Skip to main content

hopelessness

i've been down before
but now i'm being ggored
down by my emotions
i now need simplification
of them cause
they are being too complex but
i somehow understand them
those games
that my emotions are playing,
relaying my past memories, slaying
all the hope inside me
making me an oddity
like i wasn't odd enough
now i feel like there's no hope
even as i spit out there dope
rhymes, i feel so worthless
there i rest my case
cause i haven't been able
to do anything, not even make a time table
to do my chores
and life's been a freaking whore
fucking me over and over again
till i no longer remain sane
and not even the pills are doing their work
hell i can't even feel bore-
dom, all i feek is down
like a gray hound
who's lost his speed
-yakaa: jujaa:

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

memor....hallucination

that cute little butt of hers those beautifull brunette curls that flows across her face yeah the same one with button nose and her smile the one that goes all the way to her heart it was nothing but a lie oh why did i had to lie??? why did i had to break that promise i made her yeah i cried but tears stopped right before they reached my eyes i had a reason for ending it and she knew it every bit so well: even more than me that she could tell what i had to say hello miss cuddles! well you ain't there thats just my hallucination please don't stare at me i can't bare to see you go, where are you now??? nowhere but in my brain -yakaa: jujaa #felicity (i wrote this one some two years back. back then i was called eklo yatri. meanings the same it's just a matter of language. dedicated to felicity. she meant the world to me. n even though we have drifted apart i still hallucinate her voice)

other side

i wish i knew what ails you but right now i don't know what to do i know that you love me too bvut here's a dilema i don;t know what ails you how i wish that you'd be problem free like an old tree that has no problems that just hums to the wind but as i write my confidence dwindles oh how i wish that i could solve everything that ails you, you have a strong resolve to face everything above but as we remain contactless i wish that i could kiss you and come to the other side and give you a part of my life despite the fact that we are connected and despite the fact that i believe everything you've said i'm worried my image's blurred thats why i saay that i love you wish that you'd come back to me soon that you're the grestest boon anyone's ever given me #promise -yakaa: jujaa: (fb deactivation days)

working hard

one side says up, another says down do i look like a fucking depressed clown to you when i have these episodes?? when two close sides inside fight within my so called brain trying to take control over my body while i look dazed like a fat glazed bun, yea i'm a nut case so what? i've read every article available on my MPD and i had that shit since before Power Rangers SPD began airing so yea it's been a long time but unlike wine it's only grown worse like an aged racing horse and while i try to guard my important ones from that side, working as hard as i can to keep these personalities  in check they leak out making me look fake but oh! my hard work is paying i can't stop but i keep delaying their appearances in my body till one day i explode till one day i cant contain them no more but till that day I'll work hard without having to say to keep my other sides beside.... -yakaa: jujaa: (i am working hard #promise..just not on the fiel...