Skip to main content

fake

a ton of stuffs on my head
every time i lie awake
every word i said
every smile i make
it's all fake
and till this date
i've been bearing all that hate
just for the sake
of showing that I'm okey
but hey!
I'm just a human being, i fall from grace
and i wan't to disappear without a trace
every now and then
but then again
i worry about the people i love
i don't want them to get disturbed
i am different so what?
i am the child that got lost in a mart
i have got a heart
i am smart
to some extent atleast
i am the one who got ditched
the wallflower, the last picked
the one who needed his clothes fixed
till late in the teens
but it seems
that i've grown now
and i've somehow
been able to handle the stress
handle the dark caress
of work, family, friends and emotions
yea those emotions that hones
and strikes me on my weakest days
but like i've said
i've learned to fake
a smile for the sake
of those i love, my world
but of course i break
i also have hate
but i don't show them
just because i'm strong enough to mow them
with a faint hope of happiness
and i'll leave my broken self back without a single trace
cause like i've said, i am a fake...
#batman(one of the strongest person i've met. been through so much shit but still manages to put a smile on her face like c has never been sad)
#awari (a strong girl who believes in breaking when c has time enough to breakdown and recover. u won't even know that she has actually broken down. a strong girl.... very strong girl. and one of the people i secretly admire a hell lot)\
#haku( yea i know that i am mentioning myself here but hey i have been pretty strong myself and i am a fake smiler too so i have a place here too.)
-yakaa: jujaan

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

memor....hallucination

that cute little butt of hers those beautifull brunette curls that flows across her face yeah the same one with button nose and her smile the one that goes all the way to her heart it was nothing but a lie oh why did i had to lie??? why did i had to break that promise i made her yeah i cried but tears stopped right before they reached my eyes i had a reason for ending it and she knew it every bit so well: even more than me that she could tell what i had to say hello miss cuddles! well you ain't there thats just my hallucination please don't stare at me i can't bare to see you go, where are you now??? nowhere but in my brain -yakaa: jujaa #felicity (i wrote this one some two years back. back then i was called eklo yatri. meanings the same it's just a matter of language. dedicated to felicity. she meant the world to me. n even though we have drifted apart i still hallucinate her voice)

other side

i wish i knew what ails you but right now i don't know what to do i know that you love me too bvut here's a dilema i don;t know what ails you how i wish that you'd be problem free like an old tree that has no problems that just hums to the wind but as i write my confidence dwindles oh how i wish that i could solve everything that ails you, you have a strong resolve to face everything above but as we remain contactless i wish that i could kiss you and come to the other side and give you a part of my life despite the fact that we are connected and despite the fact that i believe everything you've said i'm worried my image's blurred thats why i saay that i love you wish that you'd come back to me soon that you're the grestest boon anyone's ever given me #promise -yakaa: jujaa: (fb deactivation days)

working hard

one side says up, another says down do i look like a fucking depressed clown to you when i have these episodes?? when two close sides inside fight within my so called brain trying to take control over my body while i look dazed like a fat glazed bun, yea i'm a nut case so what? i've read every article available on my MPD and i had that shit since before Power Rangers SPD began airing so yea it's been a long time but unlike wine it's only grown worse like an aged racing horse and while i try to guard my important ones from that side, working as hard as i can to keep these personalities  in check they leak out making me look fake but oh! my hard work is paying i can't stop but i keep delaying their appearances in my body till one day i explode till one day i cant contain them no more but till that day I'll work hard without having to say to keep my other sides beside.... -yakaa: jujaa: (i am working hard #promise..just not on the fiel...