Skip to main content

purest white lie

it's funny how i survived
funny hos my life
was never anything fun or boring
funny how i could wake up mid-snoring
but i have been down-deeper than the sea
i have gone days without a wink of sleep
just cause of those thoughts that ate me alive
i am a guy but was willing to be deaths wife
i was doing everything to not despise
this life so i created lies
to believe that i ain't no weak n haveb some hope
lies that made me buy a super strong rope
and tie it to a tree of belief
a belief that i was not a weak ass person
a belief that i am my safest home
and that belief is what turned me strong
maybe once a fake but it is now wrong
one fake ray of hope tuened genuine
can't believe after all those things i've been
through that one white lie would make me thrive
in this chaos and let me surv;ve

-yakaa: jujaan

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

special

never felt like this it's like waiting for a kiss and that hiss from someone trying to diss out to you, damn it made me angry i just couldn't see what he said to me about you, that we were not meant to be but you know that as well as i do that we love each other too so boo-hoo to all those haters, go shoo i don't need any of you to do what i need to do that is to show my love and go somewhere where we can call home even if its just an ice dome i'ma comb it with our love so all i need is you to have a perfect view of this world you are all above my world -yakaa: jujaa #topda(requested by this idiot) #promise(inspired by this idiot 😑😑😑)

bad day

he's shaking now everybody's wondering how well how about him wanting to shout that he is stressed the darkness has carassed his forehead and given him the dark kiss he's vomited twice and has a loose shit and he's being torn apart bit by bit his anxiety's more than just waist deep his WiFi's dead so no distractions and his stomach's been upturned by constant contractions yet he fights yet he writes till he sees tomorrow's light keeping a little bit of hope in sight but he can't contact his love and he is worried cause he has to shove more pills into his throat no more load he says yet sleep's not on its way it's been one of the worst days and on the floor he lays under the dark sky believing his own lies knowing that he is weak but still believing that he is growing stronger with each passing breakdowns -yakss: jujaa (i actually wrote this poem about a week earlier but as i already said, no WiFi to upload. it w

working hard

one side says up, another says down do i look like a fucking depressed clown to you when i have these episodes?? when two close sides inside fight within my so called brain trying to take control over my body while i look dazed like a fat glazed bun, yea i'm a nut case so what? i've read every article available on my MPD and i had that shit since before Power Rangers SPD began airing so yea it's been a long time but unlike wine it's only grown worse like an aged racing horse and while i try to guard my important ones from that side, working as hard as i can to keep these personalities  in check they leak out making me look fake but oh! my hard work is paying i can't stop but i keep delaying their appearances in my body till one day i explode till one day i cant contain them no more but till that day I'll work hard without having to say to keep my other sides beside.... -yakaa: jujaa: (i am working hard #promise..just not on the fiel