extra dark coffee

you don't see it do you? just cause he hides it all too well  for you to see "well every fucking thing's bothering me" you see just a glimpse not the extreme no one knows that his reality is like a fleeting dream with him loosing the grasp he feels like he's stuck in a trap all the black flames unextinguishable that urge to hang himself using a cheap cable those feelings too uncertain to be labled to him happiness sounds like a fable that he once heard eons ago all he feels is rage and sorrow some may catch a glimpse of it but no one knows that it tears him everyday bit by bit ya'll know that his sanity is long gone and think that his insanity is just him seeking for attention but do you know hoe he's hiding it? NO! he cries every night like a little bitch he fights within himself, the anger the pain the tears and the frustration that he's gracefully restrained breaks him from the inside and slowly he is losing ...

well shit! I've fallen for her not in the past but now she makes my heart flutter well shit! this makes things awkward I'm like a dog that can't bark why did my vision change? the way i see... why man!!! because she is my freaking bestie Naw man! i can't be feeling this she is actually on my list... lemme think clearly for a moment... (ater six  months) oH! shit!!! i have to somehow bend my heart from not feeling this thing but do i think i can change it? Naw! I've always been a crazy shit si i guess I'll just let it roll and try not to make her my ultimate goal easier said than done mate now that i think abpout it... it musta been fate that made me meet this girl who seeks light in impossible if times this idiot who won't let me whine in peace, this annoying lil piece man i somehow have to stitch my mouth shut and stay quiet and tell myself massive lies so be it! it's a decision it's a mission roger that brain but zip...

I'm not a good person I'm not suited to be anybody's home I'm just a stone a proof of something gone wrong in life; a ddeadbeat guy, an almost NEET guy, a guy who has everything going right yet has no will to fight a guy who sees the light but doesn't have the might to go towards it a guy who makes a shit of every decision a guy who has no precicion to do anything so I'm telling you, stop seeing me as a good human being but the fact remains that i can't be mean infact that's the only good thing in me so don't get attached to me, I'm screaming for i can't help you because i need help too but i need to do it alone just to atone for the lies and the dreams that i've crushed for the times I've rushed just to be a demon to myself so let me yelp and suffer alone and let me be one person gone from your life just please don't stop to fight and be others help but I'm just gonna remove myself from being...

creating an in-fillable hole playing an unforgettable role you came to my life you made me strive for something greater than myself you became my only help and carried on the legacy the legacy that only i could see and that too when i had just sent a suicide letter to myself just when i had begun ti yelp a every small wound you came as a boon and just like everybody before you you did what they doo poof!!! gone and i was left all alone maybe i was at fault too for doing the mistakes that i do but I'm just a human I'm not a god sent creature, I'm not a perfect one but i was far too gone for you to oversee my mistakes so i thank you for holding that long for my sake and I'm sorry that i lost you believe me i really do  and all that remains is your memory theone I'll cherish till the day i die... #promise (TBH when i wrote this poem i had no idea that it'd be relatable to that baka but as i typed this thing it reminded me more and m...

how long has it been since i had last seen those three words on screen it now seems like a dream to me and see those words is it a curse just to get hurt so i just blurt those words but even the voices in my head dissolves those words that'll make me blush i don't wanna die i don't wanna be high plese s say it once even though it's a lie and make me feel alive even if it's for a split second hell! I'm even ready to fund you as broke aas i may be why can't anyone see the desperate soul in me bur screw it, let it be i can live without hearing them and die too.... (not my story but this is one for those peeps who haven't heard the words "i love you" in a long time.... well there is someone secretly crushing overy you my mate. just learned this thing recently. don't give up hope peeps... you will find the love of your life in unexpected ways. no that i have found the love of my life but hey.. there is my favorite quote ...

what is it that heals what is it tha tseals all your troubles away> what is it that sways a persons heart when they are hurt. what is it that saves a damaged person who is beyond repair yes it has a care among it's layers but what if it never existed.? what if the cupid never visied our world and shot his arrow? then this world would be a narrow place to live in no ones eyes would ever gleam amd nshine in hope and everyone would mope around and cry every night. yes I'm talking about love symbolized by two beautiful dove yes the thing that saves the world in its own way... #motax -yakaa: jujaan

never seen bu always been there always existing i have this thing called over fondness i'vealways followed you like a shadows hiss noticing your every move a love that is very true but you will never realize it no! not even one bit cause i keep it hidden a love that is almost forbidden and yet you feel it's warmth just a bit, cause i've never swarmed you with it a love that's like a medi kit to you, always there when you're hurt tracing your growth in a dirt always there to be there for you even if it means self destructing this thing is very strong stronger than any bond known to humans showing it's strength in every chance but you'll never know it's true nature cause this thing is a very mysterious creature with you like a shadow non-expressive expressions just cause it's afraid though and just like a shadow it'll remain a mystery #ted -yakaa: jujaan

Well everybody dreams Everybody screams To do something big To attempt to swallow a thick Piece of our hope But it’s a steep slope Upward To becoming a big star And it’s certain that we will hit a wall We will have to crawl When the times hit us hard We will be thrown afar We will have to start From square one Do the steps already done And that’s where most of us fail Hit the bottom of the scale We will have to start anew And sew Our torn hopes again Even though the process may be almost same Well it shouldn’t be We have to think differently And take our decisions wisely At times even be feisty Cause the old things will work no more This process will cause a sore Back And force us to crack The toughest of walnut But we must have the gut To turn that shaggy hut Into a castle hard to bust But for that we have to spew The energy to start a new As many times as it takes #awari -yakaa: jujaan

Poof! Gone in a instant like a magician had sent you to some other dimension one moment you were there, next moment gone I cared for you deeply, I did but my time in your life had skid away like a racer doing a drift my time there was very swift I still walk those roads you know I still wish to see you grow but I can’t walk that road no more Cause every time I do that I feel low but you wanted me out so I did that without a shout even though I had my side to explain I didn’t wanna forcefully retain a bond that wouldn’t have continued long though I do admit that it wasn’t very strong to begin with #golden_eyes -yakaa: jujaan

You were thrashed hung up on the wall and bashed thrown on the ground and smashed tied up to the pillar, lashed with a rope so thin that it cut deep into your skin And then there arose a crack in your body and you began to look like an old hag but my dear wipe those tears that are smeared and clear your thoughts and think calmly you still treat people warmly so what if they see your crack the right ones will wag their tails and be drawn to you cause they know the things you had to do to stand up to all those beatings to stand up against those hate that they have been feeding your small crack means that you’re put to the test and received a slugfest and didn’t fall apart #awari #batman -yakaa: jujaan

I feel something in my heart it feels like darts being thrown, I’m being torn apart am I that smart as to ignore what’s in there as I smear tear stains of my face I am just a cupids case A fight with someone dear oh! How I wish she was here so that I can caress her cheeks and take a peek Inside her heart It was a live at first sight so we tried with all our might to be together damn I wanted her and she wanted me a thing only she could see so we fought on to find our home that was our embrace After some desperate tries after some white lies we got together both me and her and damn we were happy we chatted all and night in our lappy but it had to come to a comma so here I am writing this desperately missing our hugs and our kiss It was no one’s fault but our story has come to a halt Desperately loving each other with all our heart we almost fell apart but we sorted out our things now and I do want to bow Down to those who helped us gently pus...

I know that you’ll never come again I know that things will never be the same but you left without knowing what I am all about I miss our evening tea talks I miss how I stalked and followed you till you reached home but all those things are now gone your short height your disappearing will to fight I wish that you’d fight with all your might I wish that you’ll see the light but you’re not with me a pain only I can see so I can only hope that you’re fine I can only hope that you’ll shine and be the person I want you to be without me… #golden_eyes (a short chapter but a chapter to be remembered. This name is definitely going to the list of the ones who got away) -yakaa: jujaan

Smoke and fly laugh and smile one stick of THC is all I need to feel free but nah, it’s never enough the more I get the more it feels soft no more will I get hurt no more will I blurt nonsense, I talk about worlds I talk about psychedelic goals just one more roll of it and I’ll get my energy to diss that bully that I always wanted to beat that asshole who took my front seat but now I’m dancing in an inaudible beat a few more and I’ll never be sick again… (all about weed.) -yakaa: jujaan