extra dark coffee

Lets start slow, what do you see? Open your eyes and see the reality tell me more, what do you feel? taking things around, just feel the steel coldness there you feel it? now burn it with ca candle just a bit did you just feel the heat? now go back and take a seat listen to all the shit I rant about but be discrete don't tell anybody shh shh shh  change the pace now open your ears and notice the change, feel the tears in your eyes, feel the tears on your skin filled with fears of uncertainty, fears of getting the stares of people you don't even care about if you try to smear their version of ideal life, break that care just think for yourself and just compare is this what should be done is this is the best measure is all the chaos necessary to ensure the sanity and the humanity  unjust shitheads spouting profanity justice has been sold in cold in the city power rules the world, this world filled with toxicity where love is lost and all that remains is hate and pity but not all...

 Nope this is not a philosophical one or maybe it is, but I think I am done with trying to explain everything, it's not fun but wait I don't do it for fun and you know it son and oh! my hair is falling I wish I had a man-bun I love butts so you see that was a pun hun what confused? Why does it makes no sense after the first few hums? well this is just a what the title says, read moron this is what insanity feels like, it's fine one day and the next day it is less fine, not gone from sanity, like you are there yesterday and all of a sudden BOOM! you are insane, you see there is no fun in that, there is no fun in shooting yourself with a gun but there is fun in going for a run  and being eaten by bears like nom nom shit too dark I guess but you get the point hun so remove that shit in your mind and see ya cunt see how it feels like to go insane through my poems the process slow decent into insanity and supersanity is still not done well not technically mine but I am ranting s...

How long did has it been? How long did I stay in my room refusing to be seen? Well it feels like it has been too long since I was last heard, since I was where I belong Where am I? Where did I came from? Well doesn't matter Now I am strong enough to control whatever storm comes my way. That kid has grown grown enough to understand that he can't be harmed A silent voice that had been farmed came to see the magic charm. The quiet grey sky fills his view but his thoughts are nowhere to be seen, nothing to spew a kid locked in his room, finally threw his old skin is now born a new but why is he so calm, what has he brewed in his head while no one heard him, his thoughts were screwed but now he smiles, what did he knew? no one knows so that's why I say listen to him, listen to that kid who is quite all night and day Ask him, listen what reason has he slayed to smile like he is now, when the world is not okay why does he look so in control in the light of the grey? This smile is ...

I'm done trying to understand I'm done trying to pretend that I have a hand in what is going around in this head so I pretend instead so that I can pretend not to hate this shit hole we are all stuck, detest is still what I feel, I'm at best able to comprehend what is going around, still a gorefest well that is what it is, but well all Imma do is compress and try to guess what is blue, grey or red there is nothing pure black nor white it all depends on what you see, what you feel, what you want to light up or light up in fire, well gain some insight before you say stupid shits, or stand together to fight I know, not everyone thinks the same, but still give have some foresight think in some silence like that kid in a room with no light think for a moment and have some thoughts, doesn't matter if it ain't so bright and ya'll must think I'm pissed right? well correct but not as much just disappointed in humanity, that's all but do I still have some hope? no...

 What is this shit again? what is this shit about my brain? same fucked up shit and the same fucked train of thoughts come across as they try to mame my head and my mind at the same time, and I thought I had changed but Fuck shit is still the same have I changed? Yes I have but the my past self is just chained not fully gone, that old piece of shit full of shame is not dead yet but just restrained the world I love is grey but shit just turns red inside my frame of a world that I see so cold full of lies full of fake shits told again and again but listen, is there anyone so bold enough to put up with me, as I let my emotions roll? This is just a rant I know but hey who the fuck foretold that I won't be ranting in my poems again? who the fuck told you that that kid in the rain is gone now and is not the same? Ya know I have just about been drained? Ya know, that all that remains of me are the thoughts estranged? Broken into pieces fooling my head everyday everyday I try to suppress e...

 hello, it's me again, well back to the start feeling everything by heart despite being somewhat smart but listen this is not about me anymore, I've stopped doing that now listen, listen closely to the some facts that will be spat in the coming lines, coming from the guy that has detached himself form himself for the time being and let the voice that has hatched speak for him, cause nobody wants to hear same rubbish again, that has dragged on for so long so now listen to another voice, from the chaos format "do you know that every person who has been shat on will come back with a pile of anger that has been stacked on for years to take back what he feels he should have had when shit happened cause he cant accept the fact that all the stats at that time was not meant for him to have what he wanted but he will come to take what he feels he must have? well now think what will happen if you multiply that in a magicians hat with the variable that is equal to the hair that a cat...

Truth or false? nobody knows, but these words has only known how to repulse people, well attract some as well and those who are attracted are the ones who have truly felt the feelings behind these words they do know that despite the curse along with the false hopes i grant, these alpha seeks to destroy the false walls they seek to build despite building a false wall around myself despite diving deep into the well of realism the writer is somehow unable to call directly for help but just writes these words which are hard felt 'the world is trash and trash I am if am to be included in this world, won't build no dam my world is already as cramped as cramped can be, and if needed i will be, a sacrificial lamb which i am just not willing to be and yes, my words are the very essence of hypocrisy But what do you even expect? some well being? no you won't find that here, you can see through the all seeing  eye of the "god" or the "devil" you see they both are in...

Loud! Loud! Loud! all they do is shout out their lungs together in the crowd pretending to know what this is all about the world is fucked, everyone offended since when the heck has the rules been bended? all those times they pretended to stand up for those who ain't defended but hey at least they fake cause sometimes this shit is too hard to take and they pretend to relax just for the sake of keeping their mind safe from the chaos ensuing in the world but think for once who is at fault? why is it a default  setting of us hoomans to show who the fuck has the greatest flaws? "tell me what's wrong? will you? but shut it up inside you too so no matter how much suggestions flew from your mind, i won't do the shit that you tell me to" this is basically the shit right now,  everyone wants to talk and they want to shout but who the fuck listens to anyone? ah just shut your damn mouth oh! you don't know how? just think moron, think for a moment use this time to think ...

It starts with pain the sense of being unfulfilled the sense of being unskilled and the black/blue stain that covers your skin a broken heart covered with scars but why did that happen have you ever thought about it? have you ever thought why do you still try to fit into this world that abandoned you ages ago? why do you show  no signs of self? why did you sow the seed in a well so deep you can't even see  the bottom and there inlays your own personality where is your own wish I ask you, I ask you what you want to do? There are dreams that are suppressed  so hard that you can't even guess what they are now do you? are these words sharp to you? it is to me, despite writing them myself, so focused on others I forgot how I felt, isn't that true for most of you? do you even remember your true self and what you want to be? scared of offending those who are never meant to be taking hits and sass for being yourself for once you can let your facade melt  and try to see what ...

A lot has been said  a lot had to be said that's what we do, we the word warriors that's what we do, we the hurt worriers that's at times all we have that's at times all we can slap others with, our mode of expression that's the skill we have chosen to hone after years and years of jolting down useless lines after days and months of thinking through times through times of worries and through times of stress word has been our last line of defense the things written but unspoken the lines written from the heart that is broken yes, that is the only thing we have at most times the only place where we can safely whine but there comes a time when all of it stops, There comes a time when the pen drops and that is what we consider our death when all that needs to be said has been said or when the last hope of hope has been laid to rest that's when we have lost interest not in our craft but in our lives that is when a writer truly dies and writers block is not the death ...

Now here is a story of a guy the guy who was so bright the guy who had a lot of fight still left within him Here is a story of a guy who despised lies who never failed to try even when the chance was slim The guy was fine fine as anyone could be the guy who once believed in pre-written destiny and was now growing with a strong sense of beliefs The guy hated to whine but had things to say which he did, at night while he stayed in the darkness alone wide awake The unspoken words grew in time the reason was he couldn't be understood speech impairment was one of the truths along with the bullies he had to bare He was logical and creative indeed but no one understood him, no one took into notice that the words he had now suppressed, had turned venomous and there he grew resentful for not being given a chance to speak He grew up, as the weird kid talked spoke and acted but still he lived on the outskirts of groups for he believed that no chance would be given for him to speak The chance ...

It's June 27th here and it is the morning of her birthday. Yes, today is the birthday of someone I am in love with and together with but the future seems to be dark for both of us. She has been mentioned in my recent love poems so for those who read my blog which I can say is not much, you know who she is.      But this is not a rat about her. I will rant about her someday else but not today.    As all of you prolly know I am someone who has mental illness, it should be pretty clear bu the poems I write by now and let me face you with the reality of those who surfer from it.     Right now when I am writing this rant it is 1: 40 am of the 27th june and yes i m supposed to go to sleep after wishing her. She actually prohibited me from waking up so late cuz she knows me and how I function. I am grateful for her and having someone who understands you is that much important for people like me... for people like us.  ...

There was a guy who heard voices... who lived in the past... who lived inside his head and conversed in his head never talked much but that was only cause no one understood what he said, slurred speech jokes made but he had a lot to say yet all of them suppressed so he watched... listened as his peeps went on their day after the tragedy on the bed he laid Motionless almost dead overdosed on pills yet he swayed normally so no attention paid no emotions shown all of them suppressed n there he said I'd rather feel pain then nothing at all guilt felt emotions mailed so he stopped his pills n felt them... though it killed him he felt them n soon after every day became same he got used to them pain n there he remembered one word from past never give up: survive till u r the last man on earth . well not exactly but similar one u get the gist someone from his past relied on him... trusted him till the end n so his journey as the shadow walker begins or so he...

I don’t know how it began But i once saw few strands  Of tears on a guy so sharp I looked at his eyes, they could tear apart Anyone he looked with that murderous glare Which were nothing short of a death stare But it was filled with sadness too Thy guy who shouted out of blue ‘I will get you no matter what I have to do For my love is so fucking true” I saw him leave  But I believed That what he said he could achieve On the same day I saw a girl as well Same tear strands same sharp stare But her stare was more cold than the guys The stare which was devoid of life And for some reason I knew  That she had been severely skewed In her heart up by some shit And had lost every bit  Of happiness she had  And that she was about to be mad The eyes so sad Shit had to be fucked up bad No hope, no light, I didn’t see them no more How long has it been since I knew them? Well i know them and what they have been Through si...